Awk2theWard Wednesday {Jan 11th}

I have not done one of these bad boys in a while.

But lets roll...

Now this image is not necessarily an awkward moment, thats unless he does not stop this habit by the time he is 4, cause then its on the verge of becoming a "situation" {pun intended}.

But it was the moment right after I took this that took the awkward cake.

-Upon leaving the holy land we call Nordstroms, I took Bean into the bathroom for a quick diaper change before our car ride home. As we walked in, a group of 4 ladies walked in with us. I decided I need to use the potty, so by the time I was out of the stall, three of the 4 ladies were washing there hands. I then proceeded to change Nolans diaper. While taking his pants off, I thought oh man did you go number 2? Nope he diaper was just peeps. Then I look over and still just three ladies are lingering at the counter chatting, waiting on their friend.

Um oh wow.

How do you tell your friends to just go ahead and you will be right out?! It was VERY clear what was happening. I kept looking at them trying to do some Jedi mind trick and well them out the door, so their friend could finish her "business".

Nope they just stood there.

AWKWARD.

- See this kid...

He has reach the perfect butt height on me.

Which makes for a ton of awkward moments when he decides to come behind me and wrap his little arms around me and hug fiercely, resulting in his head snug between my bum cheeks.

Yep that awkward.

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Apr 12th}

Boys.

They come programmed completely differently.

I always knew this but man it has been more and more evident after having one of my own.

Things I never imagined saying

but now after having a little boy I find myself saying more and more...

- "Please take you sisters undies off your head."

- "Son crayons are for coloring not eating."

- "Please stop grabbing your wenis while I am changing your POOPY diaper."

- "Can you please stop sitting on my head?"

- "Dude don't lick the restaurant wall!"

- "Please don't head butt the dishwasher." "Or the oven." "Or the wall." "Or the dog for that matter."

- "Why do I keep finding half eaten waffles in my pockets?"

- I am using the bathroom for this one "No keep the lights on." Off they go. "No leave the door open." Sweet little hand starts waving "Bye, Bye Ma." And there I sit helpless in the dark.

Boys.

I love him.

Man is he keeping this Momma on her toes.

______________________________________

Yesterday I got an email that made me smile, like BIG TIME SMILES.

I was nominated for for a Top 25 at Circle of Moms.

The Ladies I am among on the list is pretty cool. So if you would not mind taking one sec to click on over and vote for me? You can vote once a day from now until April 25th.

So I am going out on a limb and saying this will not be the last time you hear me mention it.

Sorry ahead of time, you love me right?!

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Mar 23rd}

- Watching morning cartoons with the kiddies and you look up to see that everyone has left the room. And instead of reaching for the remote, you just sit there because at this point you have invested 20 mins of your life into Handy Manny and you have to find out how he gets the whale off the beach. *PAHH*What thats never happen you? Me either {insert shy look away}.

- See that kid, the cute one above, he is a stinker.

Walking out of Target, he decides that he should throw goldfish out of the cart.

And on this particular day I had park on the other side of world.

Our Target has a gang that hangs in the parking lot.

A gang of loud, obnoxious, and fearless black crows.

Now I find myself running through the parking lot screaming like a banshee and waving my arms in the air, as we get dive boomed.

Picture Alfred Hitchcock's Birds.

Finally to the car and at this point everyone has taken notice of the crazy lady

and now are mesmerized.

I grab Bean and jump in the front seat, turn on the car, spray the windshield wipers, and blast the horn for a good 3 mins until finally on lonely crow is left standing on my hood.

Scared that he might be a look out for the others, I did the fastest load up of bags in history, I am thinking about submitting it to Guinness.

Yep, he is a stinker.

Share your funny.

Pretty please.

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Mar 16th}

It's Wednesday.

The day when we share the funny moments that make life that much more enjoyable.

- This kid and his shades.

- Thinking it was ok to wear a v-neck shirt and my new VS bra {which has enough

padding to absorb the oil from the gulf spill and exxon valdez} to take Bean to his

Gymboree class. Then getting to class and realizing, DUH, I am going to spend the

next 45 mins bent over flashing all the Dads that came to spend quality time with their kiddos.

Such a hussy.

- Forgetting that 4 year olds take EVERYTHING literal.

Giggling at the look of horror on your daughters face when you tell her to clear the FROG out of her throat.

OR

When your daughter is having trouble getting her words out.

And you think it was ok to say "Oh sweetie, just spit it out."

Two secs later you find yourself with a paper towel wiping up saliva off the kitchen floor.

Me winning parent of year, not happening...

Got something funny.

Lets hear it...

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Mar 9th}

Ready for your dose of funny this week?

- Having the above text conversation this weekend with my girlfriend.

No shame in my game.

A Momma needs to multi-task.

- Back acne. So maybe not funny but for sure awkward.

- Getting ready to walk out the door to take Buggie to school and she says "Mommy you can not

wear those PJ's?". Ok first off I am wearing PJ's to take her to school. Then she

follows it up with "You wore them yesterday."

WOW. I really did, that means I was rockin a 24hr run on the same PJ's.

We were running late, so I just throw a hoodie on with the hopes to throw

everyone off the scent {figuratively and literally},

and hope no one is as observant with my wardrobe as my little gal.

Got something funny to share?

We want to hear.

Link up.

Please I just ask that you link to your Awk2theWard post, not just your blog :)

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Mar 2nd}

Coming at you each week with a little dose of awkwardly funny moments

that make life a little extra special.

- Sitting in the waiting room of the mini ER on a Sunday evening with your 4yr old to have the above x-ray done {she is fine, nothing broken} and in walks a man and woman. The man then puts a bag on the counter, which after closer examination has cats on it. And you hear the man say {not in a whisper} "um I was wondering if I can buy some needles?" Of course this gets your attention. He then goes on to say he needs to give his cat IV fluids and has been all over town looking for needles. But the part that got me into a head shaking giggle was when he said "I promise I am not a heroin addict, man why do they make it so hard to buy needles." Really?

Have you ever heard someone get cats, IV fluids, and heroin addict into three sentences?

I am still shaking my head and smiling.

- My friend Jenni's FB status the other day : "Being an adult is dumb."

Dude I totally agree, but then I go into my kitchen and eat a whole sleeve of Thin Mints

and think is has its perks too...

Got something funny to share?

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Feb 23rd}

Coming at you every week with a little dose of awkwardly funny moments that

make life a little extra special.

A place where laughing is encouraged.

- Because I am a complete idiot this is how I spent my day yesterday. Clerk of the Court to pay the stupid non moving violation. Then to the DMV to show I paid the darn ticket before they suspended my license. Which as you can see I had a child strapped to me, who was SO thrilled to be tied down. And I spent the whole time trying to keep him from giving the little boy {who was clearly with his mom, because he was home SICK} behind me high fives. Oh and because not only am I an idiot but also a procrastinator this HAD to be done yesterday which of course was the day after a federal holiday. DO not feel bad for me, laugh at me. I need to learn my lesson.

- I like slang. I use it here on my blog and in "real" life. Ever looked a word up in the Urban Dictionary just to double check the spelling of it {I know does it really matter, its slang}? Oh, then you read the definition of the word. Um, Oh, WOW, thats not what you thought it meant, wow people do that and they name it?! Then you start blushing and thinking of all the times you uttered this word in public. More blushing.

-Having your parents in Vegas for a trip and you start to see pictures pop up on their FB pages. Like this one...

Yes they totally renewed their vows with an Elvis impersonator.

Then this one shows up and you start blowing up their phones to find out, DID they?!

*PHEW* no butterflies or tribal tattoos.

And finally the one that says they need to get home. And you have decided they can no longer travel alone...

Yep thats my Dad,

awkwardly awesome.

Have you entered this weeks giveaway?

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Feb 16th}

Coming at you every week with a little dose of awkwardly funny moments that

make life a little extra special.

Laugh at me it's ok, actually its encouraged.

{someone should take my phone away after the second glass of wine}

- Standing in line at the grocery check out and staring at the lady in front of you unload

20 or so packs of Activia yogurt.

Then your 5 year old mind takes over and you start a internal giggle.

"WOW thats a lot of poop yogurt!"

When you finally get your eyes unglued and look up, you see her

looking at you and you realize you have a HUGE smirk on your face.

Awkward.

- The other day when I thought I was super cute in a pair of shorts,

Buggie asks "Oh, Mommy what happened to your legs?"

Me "What do you mean Bug?"

Buggie "You have bruises on them."

Me "Really?"

After a check in the mirror.

"Bug those are not bruises. That would be shadows from the fat dimples on my legs."

I am what you call skinny fat, never heard of it, its for real.

Pure bone and fat.

- Walking through Ikea and seeing a Dad pushing his little boy around a cart,

clearly there by himself.

Oh how sweet.

Then you take a closer look, what's that in the little boys hand.

Is that a tampon?!

Holy crap, he is putting it in his mouth.

"Um sir your son is eating something."

No response.

A little louder.

"Um Sir, Your Son Is Eating Something."

Then the guys looks down, "OH!"

He begins to blush, "Thank you, he must of, um, grabbed it out of, um, the diaper bag."

Then standing there with a soggy pon in his hand, he could not figure out

how to get out of there fast enough.

I laughed, not a him, but how awkwardly cute it was.

Anything good happen to you lately, that gave you a good chuckle?!

Awk2theWard Wednesday {Feb 9th}

If I can not laugh at myself, then I can not laugh at others.

- said by me.

{self portrait in the middle of the underbits department @ Target}

Coming at you every week with a little dose of awkwardly funny moments that

make life a little extra special.

- Standing at the check out line with your daughter who is WAY into rhyming and likes to

take the WHOLE alphabet to rhyme words.

And picks a word that you just know is going down a wrong path.

Oh, say for instance "duck".

Just call her Bugnizzle.

- Thinking you are still young enough to shop at Forever 21, until the sales"girl" asks

"Can I help you MA'AM?"

Ouch, that one hurt.

But getting carded two days later, booyah.

What do you think of them apples sales"girl"?!!

- Having to use the public restroom {small stall mind you} with both your kids in tow

to take care of your monthly biznaz.

Then turning the stroller to face the wall and telling you 4 yr old "look away."

But why Mommy? Oh geez, really right now with this conversation?

Hope you enjoyed my moments.

Got any of your own?

Enter my current giveaway, you know you want to!

Awk to the Ward

Have you ever wondered what I look like while blogging?

The wait is over...

If anything ever happens to this mug, life would be altered.

Came from original SB and even says so on the bottom.

Hope the kids do not fight over this gem as it will be gifted to them in the will.

Awkward Mommy Moments from the past couple of weeks:

- Catching a glimpse of yourself in the hall mirror, only to realize you

wore your sweatpants that say "Juicey" across your keyster to drop off your daughter

at school. Classy momma.

- Having your son in a sling in the middle of Target only to look down to see he has been

exposing you to the whole store. Then remembering that sweet old man, who was

smiling at you two secs before. GROSS.

- Playing outside with ALL your neighbor friends and your daughter telling you

"Mommy you need to comb your hair under your arms." Thanks sweetie for always

looking out.

Had any of you own awkward moments lately?