To all of you from me.

Happy Mothers Day, I wish it is the spectacular weekend you all deserve!

XOXO

Vacation Week...

I have been lost lately. I feel like I have no center.

Like all my movements are rapid, chaotic and with out completion.

Running myself too thin, I guess.

My house has been neglected.

My kids are whining and clingy, I feel a result of my own lack of focus.

Dinner is an after thought half the time, never was before.

The laundry is piling up.

I have not made one phone call to friend in about two weeks.

I feel anxious and worried.

So I have decided I need to unplug.

Give myself a week off to:

Regroup

Reevaluate

Reorganize

Revisit

Reinvent

Recoup

So starting May 28th {the day I am "in" my 30's} I am going to

shut her down. The blog and shop and then come back hopefully a better woman

then I was before.

But before then I do have some fun things lined up for you guys, so look out!

Above the bond.

I was worried when he came.

Not just the newborn worries but deeper worries.

On the ride home from the hospital, I cried.

Sobbing.

You know the UGLY kind.

I was worried that I was not going to bond with my little boy.

See when Buggie was born, I was drawn to her.

I needed her, I did not want to be without her for one second.

Bean was different. He was loved but the need was not that deep.

It makes me tear up writing that.

Would time make that need deepen?

{oh he is SO stinkin cute, shirt from Little Pinwheel}

Time has passed {6 mnths soon!}. And my little boy holds my heart tight.

I have come to realize that love comes in so many varieties. My love for my daughter is and will always be different then my love of my son. But thats ok. They are different, so the love for them will also be. I love them for so many reasons, a lot the same but a lot not.

{she did not want her picture taken, but I just had to capture her accessories}

All I can do everyday is tell them HOW much I love them. Encourage their uniqueness, differences, and NOT compare.

I am not perfect but I am trying to make sure I do not mess this up.

Its has to be one of the most important jobs I have as their Mommy.

And that is a job I do not take lightly.

My baby is hungry...

Today I was sitting at our kitchen table chatting with Hubby.

He stops mid sentence with a *psst* and nod of the head.

I glance over at the couch.

There she is sitting with her shirt pulled up "nursing" her Minnie Mouse doll.

Then she looks up at me smiles, sits Minnie up and proceeds to burp her.

{she has done this a few times now}

I think it is crazy funny and cute.

I do not want to her to think it is a bad thing but on the other hand

I do not want her pulling her shirt up at school to "nurse" the classroom baby dolls.

So I simply say "Buggie we only feed our babies like that at home. When we are out our babies eat out of bottles."

But I am such a hypocrite, cause my baby does not eat out of a bottle. Hum...

I am conflicted about this.

I love breast feeding my babies.

I feel blessed I was able to do it for Buggie for her first year of life

and now with Jellybean.

I would NEVER want to place any negativeness on it.

What to do, what to do?

With good intentions...

we ventured to our neighborhood park today.

It is about a 3 block walk.

Buggie was on her scooter.

Jellybean in the stoller.

And we were off.

It was beautiful, we slid, climbed, monkey barred, and all those fun playground activities.

After about an hour it started...

to go down hill.

The crying started with Jellybean.

Then with Buggie.

As one wanted to go, the other wanted to stay.

So with my two crying kids we headed home.

Me holding Jellybean, Buggie in the stroller and the scooter hanging off the back.

Granted it was a 3 block walk, and these are not city blocks, I think EVERY single

neighbor was out as I struggled altering hands holding me crying 5 month old while pushing my

crying 4 year old. All the while getting nailed in the shin with the scooter.

I am pooped.