Our desire of becoming a family of four had a rough start compared to the breezy beginnings of
turing into a family of three.
With Buggie all I had to do was think about becoming pregnant, and poof.
And it was amazing to me how fast it had happened since I always had a feeling
that I would have trouble getting pregnant.
So when we decided it was time to add a little person to our family unit, I thought oh
this will be a cinch.
We started trying and two months later, poof I was preggers!
For the first couple of weeks I was crazy tired (like could not keep my eyes open
at noon!), beyond emotional (crying at the drop of a hat), and was already
starting to feel sick. I started thinking something might be wrong.
But I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind, I was not going to entertain them.
Then around 7 weeks woke up in the middle of the night, thinking am I cramping?!
By morning I knew I was and had started bleeding.
I got on the phone with my OBGYN and of course they wanted me in right away.
My doctor checked me and said there was not active bleeding. But since I was SO early
along he wanted me to go across the street to the hospital for a internal sonogram.
After sitting in the waiting room in radiology for what seemed like 5 hrs, the tech took me back. I laid there hoping, wishing, and more then ever praying that this was just a bad
dream and we would see a little blinking light on the monitor.
But this story does not have that ending I tried so hard in my mind to create.
There was nothing, I mean NOTHING.
After going back to the waiting room, my doctor called to let me know that I had a
chemical pregnancy. After hearing this I felt betrayed, my body and mind had let me down.
It took me a little bit of feeling sorry for myself, to snap back into this will happen when it is suppose to. And this "LITTLE" hiccup is nothing compared to what many many other woman experience every day as they try for years to get pregnant. And how dare I complain when I already have A LOT more then most, with my beautiful little girl at home.
But 5 months later, we were blessed. And I knew this time was different. That day back in February was the beginnings of the best Christmas present I could ask for this year.
My life has changed oh so much over the past month. But when I look at the two little people that I have blessed to have, it truly all worth it.
So thank you Buggie and Jellybean for choosing me to be your Mommy and help lead you on your way through this world. I do not take this job lightly.
But I do take with lots of laughter, joyous memories and tons of love!